Hello kittens. I’m sorry I haven’t written for a while, Life has been kicking my mental/emotional/spiritual ass a bit lately as I continue to navigate the cold, dark, turbulent waters of DEcolonization of Self. It ain’t easy or fun or pleasant to be contaminated in the head, heart and soul by the colonist dis-ease — being enslaved by, and participating in colonization, and throughout it all deeply yearning to live Indigenously and tribally, while not seeing it anywhere around me.
I recently heard someone describe a person as “well-adjusted” in a positive light and I had to snicker at the absurdity of the notion. To be “well-adjusted” to the dominant colonist culture is nothing to celebrate or aspire to, unless ignorance is bliss, which it never is because one person’s blissful ignorance is their neighbor’s painfully awake suffering due TO the ignorance next door. Ignorance seeps out and effects much and many regardless of how much of a me-me-me bubble ignorant people operate from. Something is Real Bad Wrong when we’re “well adjusted” to the colonist genocide, slavery, oppression and general deep disrespect of the planet and of eachother that is happening on so many levels and degrees. I should know, since I was one of those blissfully ignorant people, a perfectly “well adjusted” idiot following all the rules I was taught and that I just picked up on implicitly and explicitly from schools, media, family, peers, all in the name of approval and acceptance by the lame-stream mainstream and its high and mighty colonist judgy-judgertons.
I call my move away from blissfully ignorant idiot to slowly and surely DEcolonizing myself, giving myself permission to think. Which is pretty fucked up, that somewhere along the way I internalized the idea that thinking was bad and wrong. I internalized this message quite early on, and the equation was something like: Thinking = Difference of Opinion = Conflict = Bad = Rejection, which = Death to vulnerable young people before building up self-protective mechanisms, general confidence, and the idea that our role in life is not to please people (especially the case for females, though fear to speak up and express difference seems like a big allergy of the colonist culture regardless of sex, though females in particular are expected, encouraged and rewarded to be extra compliant, submissive and people-pleasing compared to males).
So yeah, some of us wake up and smarten up, and some of us never do. For those of us who do, It’s hard and exhausting fucking work to stay clear, coherent and grounded in this colonist dystopic dysphoric hell. BUT there are ways to endure, to cope, and sometimes, to fuel the spirit, which in turn incites CHANGE, such as Mz Staceyann Chin’s brand of speak-out. Plus LOVE — the only reason to stick around and keep enduring the horror show that is the colonist culture.
I came across this rad spoken word video of Fuck You! kinda protest by the bold & awesome Staceyann Chin which I find so soul-filling and inspiring so I share it with you with eternal hope for a better world and the STRENGTH to resist the predatory, soul-sucking colonist energies and behaviors swirling and hurling at and around us 24/7. For example, the hatred from a random colonized dude which Staceyann poetically responds to in this video.
I have new posts in the works, percolating and to be shared here with you soon. Thank you for following and being in my world my lovelies. <3