You, Me, Us

all sexes

I am me

You are you

Let me be me

I will let you be you.

How we perceive & experience eachother is not for us to puppeteer.

When unmolested by the rattling din of past & present colonist chains & scripts,

Magical connections can happen;

Our Beings can truly and authentically experience eachother

…or two ships just pass in the night…

When you control perception,

You disallow me to be me,

You disrupt you from being you, and

A pure, unfiltered us cannot Just Be,

And we’ll never know what could have been.

Some Thoughts on Sex & Gender


Sex is a biological category. It is one way that we identify, understand and relate with one another, most especially when it comes to reproduction in that male and female chromosomes are necessary to reproduce.

There are three human sexes: female, male and intersex. If we have mostly female sexed body parts and genes, we are female. If we have mostly male sexed body parts and genes, we are male. If our parts and genes are a combination of male AND female, we are intersex. These three sex identities exist along a continuum of possibilities, meaning there are TONS of ways our sex parts and genes can look like, ALL of which are normal and natural because it’s what Nature produced. There is no such thing as being born in the “wrong body” when we are spiritually sound, because spiritual soundness = mind/body integration.


Wherever we land on this spectrum, nothing about our  bodies is in need of “fixing,” unless something about our biology disables us from day to day functioning, in which case medical intervention is necessary to live (e.g. if we are unable to pee or poop). Other than that and in conclusion, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Equally important, sex is also a physical expression of intimacy between people that bonds them. Despite what some religions believe, sex is not solely for reproductive purposes. Sex produces chemicals and emotions that strengthen the social and psychological bonds between people. The ceremonies and rituals surrounding the social aspect of sex bonding differs from culture to culture, and ranges from radically spiritually transformative & empowering to radically spiritually disempowering & damaging. More on this in future posts.


Gender is a set of ideas made up by cultures that people use to identify, understand and relate with one another. Gender ideas differ radically from culture to culture. In the euro-western colonist culture, gender is a HUGE mess that seems to be getting messier the louder the issue becomes. And lately, it seems that the issue is the loudest its ever been in “modern” times.

The problem begins in two critical places: 1) the fact that this thing called gender is “assigned” at birth, and 2) the actual ideas/rules/expectations behind maleness and femaleness, and then imposing i.e. “assigning” these rules on people – brand new babies (!) – before they get a chance to discover who they are and how they want to express themselves in the world.

As we grow up – and throughout life –  we see and hear a TON of messages about what girls and boys/men and women SHOULD look like, act like, be like, etc. Some kids accept these messages and conform to them, and some kids don’t. Of those who don’t, some don’t pay much attention to conforming to the crowd and just do their own thing, with no distress felt. Having open-minded, non-judgmental and supportive parents, teachers, doctors and peers helps hugely here. Of those who do feel distress around their sex and gender, often feel confusion or that they are misunderstood, not accepted, lost, and simply do not belong in this world (but more accurately, do not belong in/cannot conform to the colonist culture), and are different from everyone else. Within this distress is the colonist idea that difference is bad – the colonist culture reacts to difference with such fear and disdain that it’s as though the culture is allergic to it. So whatever expectations are placed on the child that s/he cannot meet, translates to “I am bad/wrong and don’t belong.”

And the knee-jerk, short-sighted, bandaid solution to this existential crisis embedded in the disconnected, dis-eased colonist culture? “Sexual re-assignment” which consists of radically invasive and extremely painful medical intervention, all in the name of conforming. Brought to you by the colonist psychiatric-medical industry “experts” who continually invent new mental disorders to “fix” by way of drugs and/or surgeries (and sometimes electro-shocking people, depending on the distress being treated).

The colonist culture goes to great lengths to do anything BUT treat people in distress respectfully and non-invasively, with the few exceptions to this rule only serving to prove the rule. Instead of respecting, encouraging and normalizing people who don’t conform to the rigid, narrow colonist notions of male and female, “experts” are normalizing and enabling their distress, disembodiment and dysphoria and scrambling to re-assemble the Natural Order of Things in order to bring these people some inner peace. The inner peace some people find after getting ‘sex reassignment” speaks to the depths of dysphoria felt. I am not advocating to stop giving people sex changes because people have the right to do whatever they please to their bodies. I am just speaking to the sex and gender crest of confusion & mess going on in the colonist culture. And it’s a real crisis when it comes to kids being taught that males can have vaginas and birth babies, that females can have penises, that indeed they are born in the wrong body if they feel that way and that it can be “fixed”, and the countless other (well-intentioned) distortions of Nature and Common Sense being imposed on kids these days having to do with sex and gender.

We must un-mine our minds and reconnect with Common Sense and the inherent intelligence that is Nature. We must DE-COLONIZE!

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4 thoughts on “You, Me, Us

  1. Carole says:

    I read that over and over and a couple more times:) That was deep and truthful- I loved it !!!

  2. disappointed says:

    If transition is damaging due to its colonialism, I’m curious what alternate treatment does this ideology prescribe? There is nothing known to conventional medicine that eases body and social dysphoria and suicidal impulses in trans people like various forms of transition, and we have seen that conversion therapy does more damage than good. “De-colonizing one’s mind” and other forms of talk therapy and CBT-related programs and philosophies don’t work for the majority of trans people, but hormones or surgery do. If there is something more pragmatic than basically “keep telling yourself you’re actually male/female” that is suggested, I’d like to hear it.

    If transition is colonialist, why isn’t it easy to obtain under colonialism? When we think about other aspects of colonialism, from relaxed hair and weaves to skin bleaching cream to “respectable” (western and gender-conforming) attire, these are all things that are encouraged by society – they’re easy to find, you’re relatively unlikely to be judged for using them, and refusing to use them results in drawbacks like being judged “too unprofessional” and suffering hiring bias or even inferior medical treatment or increased police violence.

    But when a trans person stays in the closet and does not transition in any sense of the term (since among trans people, the term can extend to simply living as one’s gender, without a medical aspect), they are rewarded by society – statistically, trans people face an increased risk of homelessness, suicidality and other mental health issues, sexual assault, murder, poverty, unemployment, and inferior medical care. Since it is by definition impossible to study closeted trans people, these results can only come from studying trans people who are transitioning or have transitioned. Why do trans people who are transitioning not face institutional rewards for being trans, in the same way that women who conform to femininity, men who conform to masculinity, PoC who conform to white western “respectability” standards, and disabled people who try to conform to “overcoming/inspirational/good disabled person” narratives seem to attain?

    More obviously, why is transition simply so difficult to attain from a medical perspective? There are countless paperwork and therapy appointments to wade through and HRT and transition surgeries are often not covered by health insurance, especially government insurance. These procedures seem to be treated like abortion, which is certainly not a medical procedure that colonialist, patriarchal forces generally approve of.

    If transition is colonialist, why are blatantly colonialist powers like the Roman Catholic Church, the Southern Baptist Church, and the Republican Party, so opposed to it? Why are their positions functionally identical to the notions of “common sense” and “what males do” vs. “what females do” that are expressed in this post?

    • Feminist Rag says:

      Hello, thanks for stopping by. Seems you misunderstood some of my perspectives.
      The dysphoria behind feeling in the ‘wrong body’ is one of many symptoms & side effects OF colonialism. This kind of dysphoria did not and could not exist pre-colonist/Indigenous days (and would not exist if we DEcolonized), because Indigenous ways of life are about *acceptance* and RESPECT from day one.
      When people are wholly accepted, respected and celebrated as they are from birth, there is no space for a mind/body disconnect to occur. “Girly boys” and “boyish girls” are accepted, respected and celebrated as they are, so there is no space for distress around self-identity, it’s just a non-issue and nowhere near what we see in colonist culture (with some Indigenous nations having more than 2 genders, which you probably know).
      In fact, the colonist culture inherently *lacks* an identity other than being a hijacker and bastardizer of Indigenous cultures and aspects of them if seen ‘profitable.’ So it’s no surprise that so many people have identity issues when raised in a culture that lacks one, and that condemns diversity and freedom to just be.

      DEcolonist perspectives of sex, gender & transgender-ism are very different from christian, catholic, republican and other such perspectives because these all come from a place of judgment, condemnation and a deep urge to control — changing one’s sex is just another example of this urge to control.
      These people & institutions do not accept and respect Life as it is, including masculine females and feminine males, and the infinite number of other diversities among us. So while they may be “functionally identical” (only from an academic/colonist point of view, if that), they are very, very different mindsets and ways of being. Just because these colonist powers don’t accept transgender-ism doesn’t mean they are similar in any way to DEcolonization or Indigenous ways of being.

      The colonist culture over-complicates and bastardizes almost every aspect of life, with sex and gender issues being no different.
      The colonist culture is also rife with hypocrisy, non-sense, and lack of common sense, which is why transgender-ism is more and more accepted by mainstream while at the same time (sort of) hard to attain, and lacking the social “prizes” you speak of. I say sort of because more and more colonist countries are making SRS easier to access. And like all colonist cultures, if you have money, you can get almost anything with relative ease. SRS is not the only thing hard to access in the colonist culture — effective medical treatment period is difficult to impossible to attain for most anyone without privilege and money. Red tape and endless hoop jumping is all over the colonist culture – this is one of its defining features, the hoarding of resources and access. Transgender-ism is not special in this regard.

      DEcolonizing one’s mind is much bigger, deeper and more involved than any kind of colonist talk therapy – it is a spiritual awakening and un-mining of the mind. It is a radical undoing of almost all that we’ve come to know about life as learned in the colonist culture. So it is easy to see why it is dismissed, invalidated and rebuked, because it takes a lot of time, is not a quick fix, and cannot be achieved with pills or scalpels.
      The attention deficit-riddled colonist culture has a hard time with patience, uncertainty, gray areas, and taking time to figure things out. The colonist culture is a reactionary one with knee jerk, short-sighted solutions to problems without taking time to zoom out, look at the Big Picture, and come up with better solutions versus ones that cause more harm or act as bandaids. Which is exactly what the colonist culture’s answer to gender dysphoria is. It pathologizes individuals then runs them through the medical mill. And when trans people make noise about not wanting to be pathologized, the medical industry reacts by doing things like renaming the surgery to “gender affirming” surgery, which only makes messier this already huge mess of sex and gender.

      Especially as stated in my article, when taking into account that kids are being taught that females can have penises, that males can have vaginas, and that men can have babies. It’s just such a selfishness in this regard, for example trans couples who reject nursing their babies naturally & with breast milk and instead nurse with formulas through plastic contraptions because their trans men partners have breast dysphoria. Is this not an ultimate selfishness and self-absorption, depriving babies of healthy breast milk for no other reason than the parent’s self-identity problems? These kinds of things really put into perspective the kind of ‘first world problem’ that transgender-ism is. Especially when considering it is Indigenous people with colonization forced upon them who have the highest suicidality, imprisonment, homelessness, ill health, poverty, etc. problems. The genocidal colonist freak show, and the infinite problems it creates & consistently fails to fix, is all taking place on stolen Indigenous land. The point of this whole blog is that DEcolonization and returning to our Indigenous, tribal roots will restore balance and well-being, and will make issues like body dysphoria and so many other colonist-born issues, moot points.

      The bottom line to transgender-ism is that it’s not our job to control other people or their bodies. For tens or hundreds of thousands of years, Indigenous ways accept, respect and celebrate diversity. The colonist culture in its 500 year infancy (as far as inflicting itself on the Americas) is pretty much the opposite, including its very rigid and bastardized notions of sex and gender.
      The radical idea of being Good and Okay and Perfect as you are is one that should be deeply considered and not lost in the deafening opposite or conflicting messages from the colonist culture. And for this idea of Acceptance and Love to be seen as ignorant, harmful or ‘transphobic’, calls into question the mental, spiritual and emotional health and sense of those demanding to be validated as anything less than valued, respected & accepted exactly as they are.

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