I just came across this 40 Days of Dating website about a real life (I think/hope/assume!) relationship project. I got hooked by Day 4. It’s about a man and woman (Jessie & Tim) who’ve been long-time friends, who for “fun” and as a “project”, decided to commit to dating eachother for 40 days. This was an experiment, to see what happens and see if they can or will make it out of “The Friend Zone”, and all the mystery and awkwardness and hilarity and complexity and vulnerability that comes with such a situation.
I’m on Day 7 and have already shed some tears (at Day 6 I think). Whaddya expect from a sensitive ole’ Pisces? At first glance and read of this website, I was rolling my eyes thinking “blah blah blah, another straight, white, mainstream hipster yuppy couple trying to get famous and make even more money than they already have by boring the world with their shallow lives.” Well, I eat my unthoughtful words. They may be straight white mainstream hipster yuppies, but they’re also human, vulnerable (one seemingly more so than the other), and real, and I’m enjoying their relationship journey so far. It’s getting good, and I’m curious to see what happens.
One of my best friends and I began to fall for eachother once. It scared the fucking shit out of both of us, and the whole thing blew up painfully in our faces. We ended up abruptly parting ways and went from hanging out, texting, emailing and talking on the phone all day almost every day and night to having NO contact for about 6 years. It was devastating and heartbreaking and left me in a deep depression for years. But the story ends well. We recently reconnected, and are both so happy to be back in eachothers’ lives, and now that we are, it feels like no time has passed. We’re both happily coupled to wonderful people, and we easily slid back into the beautiful, deep bond we’ve always had, cuz we’re just kindred spirits like that. Now that we’re both older and wiser, I think we appreciate eachother more, and I know we will never rupture again. This makes me so happy. Relationships really do make or break life, and I intend to spend the rest of my life nurturing Real, Respectful relationships that only death in the physical world will us part.
UPDATE: I’m on Day 22 of the 40 Days of Dating site and I’m wondering if it’s all bullshit and a manipulative (and successful) publicity stunt. Jessie & Tim are outstanding graphic designers so the visuals are very clever, but I dunno, I’m starting to get a vibe that it’s all fake. Lot of name dropping of people and places of mainstream plastic pop culture (like Elizabeth Gilbert did in her bestselling book Eat, Pray, Love), as they live in NYC, which is great for marketing themselves/their project. I hope it’s real, but if it’s not, it won’t be the first time I’ve been duped by TV or internet “reality” stuff. I really need to stop being so naive. Though I would rather people just be more honest and real. We’ll see what happens…apparently this website/project was so popular that a movie is going to be made about it. Oh and I found a little inconsistency: On Day 22 date, they say they went out with a mutual friend of theirs after they all finished teaching a class that went from 6-9 PM, but the receipt for their after-class dinner outing said 8:18 PM. Hmmm…only adds to my suspicion of fakery.
FINAL UPDATE ( & SPOILER ALERT): Well I finished reading their journey and am a bit saddened by its ending. I’m still not 100% sure if it’s real; either it’s fake and Jessie & Tim are good actors, or it was totally real and it ended the way it did because one of them is immature and not ready to step into the full vulnerability and realness of being human. Either way, the two created a brilliant project and continue on their way to even more financial success. Another win for capitalism, another loss for Love. I look forward to updates on their lives post-project and am curious to learn what came of their relationship after removing the microscope. I did some searching around and they are apparently still good friends, Tim is single, and Jessie has been dating a guy named Zak.