Tag Archives: what sex positivity looks like

The Strong n’ Sexay Lucille Bogan: A Spine Made of Whalebone & a Cock* Made of Brass

What True Sex Positivity and Sexual Freedom looks like!

DISCLAIMER & TRIGGER WARNING:  “Don’t listen to these songs if you have an aversion to dick, cock, pussy, fuckin’ or shit…… or a sexy fat woman that is intimately acquainted with all 5. Thank you”. (SS)

Lyrics:

I got a man I love
I got a man I like
Every time I fuck the mens I give ’em the dog gone claps
Oh Baby
Gives ’em the dog gone claps

But that’s the kinda pussy that they really like

I told ’em I got a good cock
and its got four damn good names
rough top
rough cock
tough cock
cock without a bone
you can fuck my cock
suck my cock 
or leave my cock alone

Ohhh Baby
Honey if its all night long
You can fuck my cock or suck my cock Baby
until the cows come home

You know both of my mens
they are tight like that
they got a great big dick just like a baseball bat
oooooh fuck me, 
do it to me all night long

I want you to do it to me Baby
do me til the cows come home

They know a bitch from Baltimore
I got hairs on my cock that will sweep the floor
I gotta funk on them hairs that will shut the door
and I look over your hands saying I’m a bitch from Baltimore

Ohhh talkin bout a bitch from Baltimore
and I got hairs on my cock
sweep anybody’s floor

I gotta big fat belly
I gotta big broad ass
and I can fuck any man
with real good class
talkin ’bout fuckin

talkin ’bout grindin baby all night long

and I can do it to ya hunny, do it til the cows come home

if you suck my pussy 
baby I’ll suck your dick
I’ll do it ya honey till I make you shit
ohhh baby
honey do it all night long
do it to me papa,
[Do] me til tomorrow comes.

A more lesbian-themed ditty called BD [Bull Dyke] Womens Blues by Lucille; perhaps she was bisexual, or a lesbian who didn’t have to explain or apologize for likin’ some dick from time to time:

Lyrics:

Comin’ a time, BD women, they ain’t gonna need no men
Comin’ a time, BD women, they ain’t gonna needs no men
Oh, the way they treat us is a low down and dirty thing

BD women you sure can’t understand
BD women you sure can’t understand
They got a head like a sweet angel and they walk just like a natural man

BD women, they all done learned their thing
BD women, they all done learned their thing
They can lay their jive just like a natural man

BD women, BD women, you know they sure is rough
BD women, BD women, you know they sure is rough
They all drink up many whiskey and they sure will strut their stuff
BD women, you know they work and make their dough
BD women, you know they work and make their dough
And when they get ready to spend it, they know the place where to go.

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A bit about Lucille:

Born in 1897, Lucille Bogan first began recording in 1923, singing vaudeville songs. By the 1930s she had established herself as a blues singer and her oeuvre was slanted decidedly toward the raunchy. In songs like “Sloppy Drunk Blues”, “Tricks Ain’t Walkin’ No More”, and “B.D. Woman’s Blues” (the B.D. stands for bull dyke) she focused on themes like gambling, drinking, lesbianism, and prostitution; themes that featured prominently in the juke joints she had worked in early in her career. (source)  [She was] among the first to be recorded. She also recorded under the pseudonym Bessie Jackson. The music critic and sexologist Ernest Borneman stated that Bogan, along with Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith, was in “the big three of the blues” (wiki).

* Re. “My cock is made of brass” — “She’s not got her words confused, as some have suggested.  Nor is it a lesbian thing.  To her, what she had between her legs was a ‘cock’ – as it was for other southern [U.S.] women of her age, color and linguistic directness. [..] The female cock was a southern U.S. thing. It was the most common slang word for the vagina for a very long time. As late as the 1960s, in the southern states, ‘a piece of cock’ was a woman. (source).

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In closing, here’s a great sex education video called Jam that talks about what healthy sex looks & feels like, minus the pro-prostitution piece, which is commodified sex and which goes against the video’s message of commodifying sex being unhealthy.  Other than that, a very cool, educational and refreshing vid:

As my fierce n’ fab feminist sistra Petra Cerise Bocourt-Rosario states about this vid:

It’s so true, screw planning sex as a chore, rigid must-work expectations brought from previous relationships, porn or “my friends do that so should I”. I’d put more emphasis on creativity or tuning-in than on talent though. I like what she says about consent and desire a little bit after the middle of the video and kicking out the concept of sex as a mindless exchange or commodity, but then she kinda kills it with embracing prostitution… Also the part about judgement can be interpreted in multiple ways including the sex poz bullshit as do not dare to criticize anything sex related, which partially negates the consent and desire and anti-commodity (common for many sex therapists saying shit like out of 10 sexual encounters 4 will suck, 4 will be ok and 2 will be awesome) points. All in all a very refreshing vid focusing on finding the missing substance, energy/emotion/experience flow and giving importance to the whole process.

And on the topic of healthy sex in general, Petra shares:

I dislike the term “waiting for sex”, because it sounds like after the waiting period over it’s mandatory. I prefer separate session decisions that ought to be respected no matter if the reason is “too soon in the relationship”, “feeling anxious tonight” or anything else. It’s fucked up when compromise means compromising ourselves deep down where it matters the most.  Not talking about using Deepthroat as an example of sex positivity… True sex positivity comes from talking about sex and related with honesty, acceptance and respect and keeping that in mind when theory leads to practice. It’s bullshit to think that most couples would find the narrow definition of sex in porn as the best stuff they can get “naturally”, it’s a fucking brainwashing.

I think one reason why anti-porn and anti-prostitution feminists and other such activists are wrongly labeled “sex negative” or prudes or vanilla, etc., is because there is an imbalance between critiquing unhealthy sex, i.e. degrading, violent, misogynist, dehumanizing and harmful porn & prostitution (lots of excellent critique in this department), and educating about healthy sex i.e. respectful & consensual (not much of this out there, in comparison to the critique).  So I hope this post helps bring some balance to the “sex negative” versus “sex positive” debates, because understanding what harmful/unhealthy sex is, is half of the equation; learning about what constitutes healthy, respectful, mutually pleasurable sex is the other, very important part.

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Puttin Up My Titties 4 Bridget Everett: A Thrilling, Hilarious & Raunchy Force of Fresh Female Power

Feminist Rag Award NEW_Bridget Everett

I never really had weird body issues — I probably should, but I don’t; you know, I’m the big girl.  I had to figure something out, so I sort of kept screaming until someone heard me.  Not to be corny, but music and singing is the way I communicate.  It’s given me a better understanding of myself. [..] I just go on stage and become this terrifying, fucking amped-up party girl with the voice of an angel.

“My mom always made me feel like I was beautiful because of what I looked like, not in spite of what I looked like”

With an album titled Pound It and songs called Titties, Fuck Shit Up and What I Gotta Do To Get That Dick in My Mouth?, what’s not to love about Bridget Everett?!

I just recently discovered this wicked awesome and outrageous singer-performance artist after watching her perform her song What I Gotta Do on the season finale of the Inside Amy Schumer show (a separate post to come about the brillz & hilarious Amy).

Bridget’s brand of feminism is one of my favorite – the creative, fun and sexy kind.  Who was it that said they had to dance at their revolution, or something like that?  Well Mz Bridget puts a whole new spin on that idea. There isn’t just dancing at her revolution, there’s super talented singing, swearing, nudity, motor boating, and the spraying of faux cum all over the place, which really, is the ultimate resolution in sex & gender equality, aint it?  That is, for everything to be good and right, loving and respectful and balanced between the sexes so we can get back to being the free, wild animals we are, having a mutually consensual orgasmic time doing whatever and whomever we want, The End?  And of course gleefully not doing anyone if we don’t want to either, for a shout-out to the asexuals, non-sexuals, celibates, and other such folk out there.   Well, that’s two of many, many Good Life versions of my idea of a post-colonial, back-to-tribal-living world.  But back to Bridget!   The quotes* & clips speak for themselves – her words and work inspire my feminism and overall lifeforce in some exciting ways, and hopefully they will yours too.

I hope that sometime, if somebody sees me onstage, stripping down to almost nothing, they will see that it’s just a body and hopefully that can give somebody some comfort somewhere. [..] I think the human body is really cool and there is something pretty spectacular about everybody.

Seeing a plus sized woman in a see-through, barely there outfit singing about how you should love whatever kind of titties you may have is, well, kind of my thing. [..] it’s been really cool being around a group of people that embraced the weirdo in me, and the sex maniac, and the crazy thing, and go with it.

I think some people are freaked out by me throwing my body around on stage but I’m like, literally, it’s just tits. And you grew up sucking on one to get what you need and now you’re getting them in a different way.

On feminism, Bridget says:

I’ve always identified as a feminist. But there was a time when I was finding my voice as a performer, where I wasn’t sure if what I was (and still am) doing could be considered feminist. My “character” on stage (which is really just the super hero version of myself) is totally wild, often naked and frequently inappropriate. Then I realized that I was being true to myself, free of fear and totally 100% in charge of my body, and that, to me, is part of what being a feminist is all about.

About her creative process and rising success, Bridget explains:

[A]t the end of the day, I’m surrounded by a wildly funny and creative group of friends.  We all just do weird shit that makes each other laugh.  And they don’t judge me for what I do or say.  It’s really freed me up and unleashed the beast.  In fact, my friend, Adam, inspired me to write my own songs.  I’ll say something kind of fucked up and he says, ‘Sounds like a hit.’  And I literally take whatever it is that made him or whatever other friend laugh and write about it.

In the end, I want people to leave the shows feeling like they just went to a great party and when someone asks them why, they can’t really explain it.  They just know they have to be at the next one.

Next time I’m in New York, I will most definitely be checking out this rockstar of a woman.  Thank you Bridget for so boldly, unapologetically and self-lovingly being YOU, you’re a fun and inspiring space-taker-upper and I’m thrilled that you’re sharing your wild self with us!

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* All quotes (and descriptors of Bridget used in the montage I made) are from articles and interviews found here, here, here, here and here.  Hope you enjoy her as much as I do, may she inspire the WildWoman to blossom and shine within us all and take up and OWN our space strong n’ proud!

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